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Requiem for a thief

September 21, 2013

From the obituary pages of the latest issue of the Borderlands Bulletin:


FRACK THE THIEF died suddenly last week in that notorious abbatoir of adventurers, Stonehell Dungeon. A well-known face at the Cup & Cudgel tavern, by the time of his death Frack was a seasoned burglar and tomb-robber who played a part in ridding the Borderlands of the brigand menace, the unmasking and capture of spies within the Keep, the (failed) search for Malfreces Nul, and several (broadly successful) missions against the hobgoblin army inhabiting Stonehell.

For a thief, Frack cut a striking figure in his trademark leather armour and periwinkle hood, often surrounded by a phalanx of heavily-armed and plate-armoured retainers – including several notable female fighters – and with a trained mastiff or two in tow. Corporal of the Watch Skuli Grizzleguts recalled Frack’s arrival at the Keep last spring: “He didn’t look like much back then. Just another wannabe hero in random headgear. I didn’t think he’d last long, to be honest. But he done alright.”

Certainly in comparison to many of his erstwhile companions, Frack did alright. While based at the Keep, he adventured alongside such memorable characters as the deluded brawler “King” Angrybear, the foppish mage Foreion Thacqspule, and the dwarves Galg and Thundertramp Tingleberry. Frack outlived them all, becoming quite wealthy in the process. There were those, even among his colleagues, who called him cowardly, but Frack’s tactics – staying out of harm’s way whenever possible, using a dog instead of a sword, flaming oil instead of a shield, and knowing when to beat a hasty retreat – proved sound and kept him alive when others fell prey to overconfidence, complacency and (sometimes) bad luck. Unfortunately, after several reversals of fortune, Frack’s own luck ran out when his party was attacked by giant spiders on the second level of Stonehell. Frack and a retainer were bitten and died in the dungeon.

He leaves three unemployed retainers – Durson, Kilford and Morna – and two faithful war dogs, Rune and Mr Moneybags. The mage Nebit Mhunraice has adopted the dogs.


IN OTHER NEWS, Dread Galgi also died.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. mikemonaco permalink
    September 21, 2013 8:57 pm

    That is awesome. None of my PCs ever got an obituary…

    • September 22, 2013 1:50 am

      Me neither! But I felt Frack deserved one. He was a mainstay of the campaign so far, making his debut in session #2 and croaking in session #32. Pretty good going. There was a moment of stunned, uncomprehending disbelief around the table when he got bitten and failed his save.

      Heh. Now everyone in the party is 1st-level again.

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